Post Grad

Posted on August 17, 2011

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Unemployment Rate March 2008 to March 2010

Dear Alexis Bledel,

I have been reviewing your impressive filmography.

  • Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants          Domestic Total Gross: $39,053,061. very nice.
  • Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants Two Domestic Total Gross: $44,089,964. even better.
  • Sin City                                                         Domestic Total Gross: $74,103,820. wow.
  • Post Grad                                                 Domestic Total Gross: $6,380,019. wah, wah, wah.

I’d like to run some lines with you, Alexis. You’re gonna be great. OK. So your agent says:

"Please. I can get another job. I am a college graduate."

Alexis Bledel’s Agent: “I have a great film for you. You’ll play a fresh-faced college graduate who faces momentary set-backs lasting not longer than a few weeks, so the really soul-crushing disappointment will not have set in. Your character will somehow emerge from college with a fantastic work wardrobe, a supportive, handsome, loving best guy friend, and a hot mystery guy next door. She will be welcomed back home and will actually earn a wage, however small, as a luggage saleslady and some sort of studio worker. She will learn that everything that is going wrong is actually her fault and is the direct result of her bad attitude. Before it gets too pathetic everything will work out.

We are thinking that the target audience will be all those recent college graduates who have spent three long, agonizing years in the worst job market in the history of college graduates. We surmise that real post grads, chock-full of bewilderment, self-reproach, and an underlying level of anger that all the people who have been on the earth longer than them failed to leave modern civilization in good working order, will really take to a movie created by said people that belittles their situation.”

And here is your line, Alexis. Are you ready? You’re gonna nail it:

Alexis Bledel: “No, thank you. I’ll pass.”

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Posted in: Generations, Movies